Day 17 – 1 Corinthians 7:1-7

7 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. ² But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. ³ The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. ⁵ Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ⁶ I say this as a concession, not as a command. ⁷ I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. ^[1]

Why do marriages fail so frequently? If this question is asked of a room full of people one may get as many answers as there are people in the room. The number one reason for failure in marriage is the lack of communication. Everything else is merely symptomatic of the fact that they were incapable of communicating one with the other. Dysfunction in a couple’s sex life is symptomatic of their inability to communicate their desires, and where there is no communication there is no cooperation.

The Apostle Paul picks up this nuance when he writes to the Corinthians addressing their question concerning marriage and whether a person should marry or not. His answer goes directly to the intimacy that is reserved for married couples, but was being practiced by those not married. It is thought that men, in particular, who were now part of the Christian community, were still slipping off to the shrine to the Greek goddess of love and having sex with the prostitutes that served there. Paul surmises that were there better communication at home, based upon better understanding of the requirements of marriage, men would stay home. It sounds like a very shallow and misogynist view on Paul’s part, but consider the time in which he was writing. Consider also the principle he highlights that is true in every generation, women desire affection and men desire sexual fulfillment. Without communication both desires go unfulfilled and the marriage becomes strained to the point that something has to give. If it sounds like such a situation is an easy fix, guess again. Communication is a struggle because men and women are wired completely differently, but there is help and hope.

Dear Jesus, communicating with the wife or husband You gave us is son tough. There are times we cannot get him or her to understand anything we want or say. We want to hear and understand each other but our lack of understanding stands in the way. Open us to one another today so we might begin to understand one another. Teach us how to hear and listen to one another so that we might begin to cooperate with one another. We want our marriages to succeed, be an example to an unbelieving world, and give You honor, glory and praise, but we need the help only You can give. Help us today, please! Amen.