Day 19 – Ephesians 5:25, 28, 31, 33; 1 Peter 3:7

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

^{1 Peter 3:7} Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. ^[1]

Men are not nearly as prepared for marriage, as are women. It is not that they are not ready, just that they are not as prepared. Women from the time they are girls generally play with dolls, play house, and think about their weddings. Men, on he other hand, are too busy playing in the dirt and hating girls until one day their hormones direct them a different way. As a consequence men are ill prepared for the very rudiments of marriage. I don’t think our day is really any different from that when the Apostle Paul wrote his letter to the church in Corinth. Men today are probably most certainly better prepared given the deliberate move away from misogynist attitudes; however, the advice and instruction Paul gave is still vitally important for husbands to hear and heed in our day.

According to Paul and Peter, men have three basic responsibilities as they relate to their wives. First they are to love them. Paul is so emphatic about this responsibility that he repeats himself three times in Ephesians (vss. 25, 28, 33). This is not romantic love, the love of family, sexual, or security, but rather the love of God that is demonstrated in his love for us. Second, they are to be committed to their wives (vs. 31). Paul quotes Genesis 2 where the man is called upon to cling to, adhere to, and follow closely his wife because they are one flesh. Such a feat cannot be affected without a deep abiding commitment to her alone. Third, they are to be considerate as they live with her as the weaker partner (1Pe 3:7). Peter’s assessment is not about physical strength, but about the differences in the emotions of men and women, particularly as husbands interact with their wives. Like fine expensive china, just a word (or even the lack of a word) from an inconsiderate husband can bruise, crack, or chip a woman in her emotions. Husbands need to be far more considerate than they might imagine regardless of the façade their wives present. Underlying that façade may very well be bitterness rooting itself in her.

Dear Lord, there are many husbands clueless about how to live with their wives. They are ill prepared, have few good role models, have received little counsel and are floundering trying to discover why they seem to continue to fail in their marriages. May my words today hit their hearts and their minds and facilitate change and transition in their lives for the sake of their families and marriages, in Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.